Happy 80th, Dearest Beloved Cousin, Jessica

Dear Readers, I know I haven’t blogged for a couple of years. I may start again, as I miss you all very much. This post is here because I don’t know how else to send a tribute to my cousin for her 80th birthday. This is the only platform I know that I could send pictures and words, but I couldn’t send it to just her. That’s why you are seeing this here. Sorry this is about someone you don’t even know. I hope to see you again soon! Big Love, Mary

Dearest Jessica, how can I begin to tell you what you have meant to me over the last 55 years?

You have been my lifeline.

When I first noticed you, there was a tear running down your cheek. It was at Mama’s funeral. I knew in that moment you would be important in my life, somehow.

I remember after she died, and I was living with Daddy, you would pick up David from Aunt Em’s, bring Hillary and Jack, and you would fix dinner for us and then we would all play hide and seek in the big house. At that time in my life, I lived for those times, as I was so sad and lost without my loving mom. Hillary and Jack, I think were 4 and 6. You were in your third decade(24), and I, early in my second(12).

I started coming to your house to babysit for you, and would spend the night sometimes. You would take David to play organs in churches you would sneak into.

When things got stormy living with Daddy, you took me in. You were my home. You saved me. Thank you. Thank you so much. Words are so inadequate to express this appreciation.

I remember how fun it was living with you, Hillary and Jack. Your house was the neighborhood house. I remember loading the neighborhood kids into the Pontiac station wagon and going to Lake Roland. We laughed and played a lot.

I had begun my spiritual path, and you were right there with me. You, EH, David and I would talk about things not many people knew about at that time. We would sneak off to the Theosophical Society and the Aquarian Age Bookstore, and feel the Oneness of it All.

After a while, it was too much for you having me there. I was sick a lot, and you were going through a divorce. It was sad to leave, but you were still my home. You felt bad about it, I know, but you have no idea how much you had done for me already. It was the right and only thing to do. So I left for boarding school

Every weekend you came to get me, and on open weekends, I came home. I loved that, coming home and eating ice cream with chocolate sauce and laughing and talking about our spiritual way of life in the kitchen.

You believed in me.

When I felt like hiding, you always brought me out.

You opened me.

You and Theo came to get me every weekend to let me run and run in the woods. How I treasured those times.

Theo found a new and much freer boarding school for me, and my life changed for the better. Still you came to visit. Still you continued to believe in me, which made me feel whole.

The day after I graduated from high school, EH brought me to New Mexico.

Off on a new adventure, still of course keeping in close touch with you. You would come to Quimby Center for the summer workshops. I went to college there, in Alamogordo, or as Daddy used to say, “Aliolito.”

One summer, I came home to work for a veterinarian I loved, and Ellen was living there too. More ice cream, chocolate sauce and laughter.

And going to Ocean City and sailing!

Then back to New Mexico to be with all my friends in Cloudcroft. It was hard to stay in contact, as I didn’t have a phone.

After a while, I got very very sick

And was dying

Again, you wouldn’t stand for it. You sent for me, and another transformation began.

And oh, that transformation! You are an instigator of deep change and healing.

It was my Saturn Return.

You set me up with every healer in Albuquerque.

You, Elena and the Deanski helped me with all the supplements, fasting, appointments and resting. And holding the Light for me. Calling on Angelic help.

Slowly, I began to heal. You were in your early 5th decade, and about to set off on your own adventure to New Zealand!

Across the sea…..

Many miles

Over the Rainbow Bridge

Off on a whole great big huge magical adventure!

And along came beautiful Mishie!

So beautiful,

gentle, fierce and true.

I feel such gratitude that you found each other, and love each other so very much. You are both so strong.

Soul Mates

How grateful I am to have Mishie in the family.

At that time, when you came to the States, you both spend such beautiful time with me and my Kris. Remember the evening we spent drumming and it turned into total silliness? I still chuckle thinking of it. Such deep, out of control laughter! I love that so much.

Remember Abina? She was just a puppy when I was living with you.

Kris says she loves you and Happy Birthday!

And I loved going to New Zealand for your wedding and meeting your friends, and getting a glimpse into the wonderful life you had created.

I know, blurry, but I had to take a picture of a picture of a picture. Haha. It was a beautiful ceremony!

Always the networker, creating a loving community wherever you go.

We are all woven together as one life force

Residing in Sacred Consciousness

Knowing that light and darkness always dance together, around us and within us.

Each summer you worked so hard and sacrificed so much to come to the States to visit our family as well as creating your beautiful Desert Quests. Visiting me in Albuquerque was wonderful for me, and then to share my new world with you has been awesome.

Flying across the ocean, each year

Sharing your treasured time with us

Bill and Mattie say Happy Birthday, Jessica!

Thank you for leaving a trail of beautiful energy on our land!

So much we have been through together over the years. Facing all the deaths – parents, siblings, friends…

And Joys we have shared.

Thank you for knowing me so deeply, and loving me so much.

You have met so many of my Spirit Guides.

And I have met many of yours,

as we use our deep Soul force to challenge the narratives about the illusions in which we live, residing in our True Nature – within the Presence of the Divine. Love.

Receiving infusions of Mystical Light and higher frequencies.

You have been there for me from early blooming to becoming an elderess. All the important moments – school plays, all graduations, birthdays, wedding. You are amazing. The devotion we feel for each other is so huge in our hearts. Always there.

Being there for me for another important time – walking into my 7th decade, in the middle of my 2nd Saturn Return. You were early in your 8th decade. That was the year Bill fell, Rosie died, Bill had a brain bleed, Mattie came to us, Sarah passed, Family reunion. 2013. Big year.

Just a few four leggeds who popped in to say hello and Happy Birthday to you.

They want to acknowledge the journey we are all on. Becoming more conscious. Living fully in each Now moment.

Discovering inner space deeper and deeper always. Remembering who we are.

You have made the big choice to Love and to empower others, even when it involves personal sacrifice.

To be kind, and to know the power of every choice, every word, every action.

Yet, you have boundaries, and take care of yourself.

I have loved our conversations over the years(decades) sharing and experiencing these things.

And now, you are walking into a new phase of your life. Your 9th decade!

The Labyrinth continues, growing stronger in you, each decade.

And sharing that so beautifully with others.

Going deeper into knowing yourself, dancing with Life, as you do.

Growing fully into the mystical Grace of the Divine Feminine, as She Rises.

Deeper and deeper into the limitless Soul.

Always full of surprises, our Souls

You – always loyal to your Soul and your Soul Group.

We all breathe together. What is in one is in the whole.

We are all on this human journey together.

You have always been 100% authentically you.

You have always followed your heart.

You have always been dedicated to inner growth and spirituality.

You are an inspiration and teacher to all who have the good fortune to know you.

You have always lived life fully, with total Heart

So FUN being together!

I love you, Jessica. I love you with all my heart.

F I N G E R S!


Thank you for helping me vision through all these years and holding those visions and prayers for me. Thank you for the laughter, the love, and helping me know happiness within. Thank you for saving my life so many times. Thank you for being you and sharing this life with me.

Mirroring each other. I love that. We have learned heaps and tons from each other.

I am so loving our FaceTime talks! They help close the gap of physical distance. Thank you for taking the time for these special visits.

May you live in Ease, Joy, Grace, Peace and Love always, in all ways.

Happy 80th Birthday, Dearest Jessica!

Blessings, Love and Light Always,

Merest of B



DP Photo Challenge: Beloved



My Beloved is Spirit

My Beloved is Everything 

















My Beloved is All That Is

In the big picture, my Beloved is Spirit, and all that is within It.











I am my own Beloved, as I am part of Spirit,

as are you.











It is often difficult for me to feel all as my Beloved, but my Higher Self knows the Truth.

The people I love are easy to call my Beloved

The planet is easy to call my Beloved

My Beloved is Love

Animals and plants are easy.









I feel Spirit talks to me through Nature.







Nature is my Beloved

Little messages here,

little altars there.

Big picture messages

Interpretation of the messages come in meditation, prayer and receptivity.

What does each animal mean to me?


Each plant?

How does the behavior of the animal tell me what I need to see?

What am I asking when a messenger shows up?

For an example, I am crossing a bridge. There is no turning back.

I saw my hawk friend yesterday. We had just arrived home after being away for a couple of days. She was eating a mouse on a post. We stayed quiet and watched her.

When she was finished, she shook off her feathers, fluffed herself up, and let go of the old (in the form of a great big poop), and flew to the new, with fresh energy. She circled and sang that unmistakable red-tailed scream. “Listen to me”, she calls.

Again, she speaks to me of the big picture. She has eaten a mouse. Not a time to see with narrow vision as a mouse sees, yet also not allowing my detailed vision to be harmed.









All is my Beloved. I am grateful and happy.

May you be awake within your Beloved.

Growth, a Journey

DP Photo Challenge – Growth, link here


Reflecting all that is around it, a drop forms, a nourishing drip of melted snow. The branch experiences stillness, a quiet presence of possibility. The tree readies herself for the coming season.


Leaves sprout, holding and protecting the new born bud.



How did they get there? Did the tree have to run out somewhere and get it? No, it has been within the tree all along. The Truth is already inside us.

We just be, as we watch our lives flower and unfold.



The bud grows, still asleep, dreaming of her awakening.






She begins her unfolding, surrounded by her beloved sisters. Energy from deep in the soil nurtures them, as does the rain from the clouds.

She blooms, her sisters still dreaming of their own rites of passage. She experiences the sun, the dew and her community. She is fully present with being alive.




A snow storm, a late freeze brings danger to our bloom and sister buds, as well as needed moisture for the tree. I imagine the tree smiling sadly, with tenderness and compassion for its delicate flower. Divine Love smiling upon Her child.

The flower has no fear. She is present with what is. None of the others will experience this unique moment as she does.


The ice begins to thaw. This mirror is in the prime of its own short existence as a drop, holding the Light just before falling to the ground.



This leaf has made it through, holding for a moment the experience of wetness and warm sun.


The sisters are opening, feeling the same warm sun and wet droplets. New life abounds.




New buds appear











And bloom.


Fully awake in this stage of their growth. The fragrance is subtle, sweet, intoxicating.



Experiencing waiting, being in the moment.









The bees arrive

Being bees


A baby apple appears, a sister not far behind. A new chapter for this once closed up bud.

The harsh weather is not over…

Hail storms and whirling winds …..


She has experienced much so far, this little apple. Adversity has marked her, making her stronger whilst giving her character. She glows as she creates her seeds deep inside.

The Universe will provide us with many triggers, or opportunities to help us learn what we came here to experience. To help us grow.

Without loss, how would we know what true living is? Without sadness, would we know happiness? Without shadow, light? Perhaps it is within the contrasts that we learn the most here on this planet. In experiencing duality, we learn to grow beyond it, or awaken from it into Oneness and Love.

She is not embarrassed by her flaws, and fears not ridicule. She is part of the landscape, just as she is.

She is an elder now, her life complete. With my hand, I touch my friend gently. She steps onto my palm. She has given herself to me. We have been in relationship, as I have ducked beneath her on my walk along the path each day, noticing and loving her. I thank her reverently, and bite into her juicy flesh. Tart and sweet. I feel her life, her stages of growth within me as her energy fills my belly. I am completely mindful of each mouthful, how it tastes and feels. I eat three quarters, along with two seeds, which contain cyanide, an anti- cancer element in small doses. I can taste it, the flavor of almond. I take the rest to the horses. They will enjoy little morsels of apple. Maybe they will poop out the seeds and plant another tree. That is how most of the apple trees here began.

Though the apple’s life is complete, for the tree it has only been a season. Life experiencing life.








“May the seeds of pure understanding come into full bloom within your being.”            Mooji





This week the daily post photo challenge prompt is Ascend


Each one of us has a different idea, belief, perception or feeling about ascension.

I find that for me, since I don’t understand how all this works, I try to keep a constant intention to raise my vibration in the now. The now moment is what we have.

My desire is to resonate with Harmony, Gratitude, Love and Light.

Then maybe I will be ready when and if the big A happens.




Maybe it happens at different times for everyone.










Perhaps it happens all at once.





Then again, maybe a few at a time. Or maybe a little over time, as we grow. Not suddenly. 





The way the world is now, we definitely need a miracle of some sort. As I have mentioned before, it has helped me to stay in the big picture, and that my beautiful hawk sister has helped me with this.


Standing in the eye of the storm with compassion also seems a good place to be.

May we all rise like a Phoenix from the chaos of purifying fire.  







And  all become part of the Divine Oneness – all of us including the Earth, as none of us are really separate. We are already One.


As one, we rise in Light

Heaven on Earth…now.

Imagination and meditation can create higher frequency visioning. I let my mind go, and climb upon my hawk friend’s back, and ascend high for even a glimpse of Divine Light.

Quietly within serenity, leaving this 3 dimensional world behind, we rise to 5th dimension.

Echoing and reflecting Divine Love for the Highest Good. 

As we release attachments and old patterns, we become lighter. Our frequency lightens and becomes more light filled.

Current choices are based on old beliefs. The old beliefs dictate how we perceive. Your beliefs can change your DNA or keep it stuck where it is.

Allow your beliefs to go into beginner’s mind. When you feel yourself resisting, move through it, and give yourself permission to feel, think and perceive differently.

May we see a mass change in Consciousness that resonates with Divine Oneness, Love and Light.

May we Ascend

Each Transformation (part 2)

Link to part one

We hold within us every age we have ever been. Each age had experiences, some more difficult than others. My inner 12- year -old who lost her mother, needs reassurance from me at times. We must be compassionate with the ones who were hurt, and support their healing. Most ages stay present, until they are healed. Some wiser ones stay on as they resonate with the frequency of Love and growth. Others we may enjoy become stronger. My 8 -year- old is a big part of who I am now. She is strong, wise, innocent and fun. My dog, Mattie, loves that part of me.

What we believe determines our experience. We must take responsibility for this. As we love what is, we become full of joy, gratitude and happiness.

When will we notice the transformation we are in now? How will we create peace out of the chaos? How do we create happiness and contentment within?

When will we transform the “power over” way of doing things to “Power within” and promote working together?  When we do this naturally within ourselves, we will see the changes in the outer world.

When will we wander through the portals into different, unexplored dimensions?

How will we move from duality to Unity consciousness with all life?

Change is constantly contracting and expanding. How will we change to resonate with peace and Love?

As seeds grow into adulthood, so must we grow into our Authentic selves






Enjoying the moment, yet ready to let go

Enjoy the now moment in all its purity and innocence.

Love what is without judgement or attachment. Transform beyond.

Judgements hold us back.   Discernment allows us to know when to step in and help.

As we experience dark nights of our Soul, so Gaia mirrors this for us as She goes through Her own, awaiting Her new dawn.









During these shifts that are happening now, we must trust in a Greater Truth. We must see the big picture. Hawk teaches us in the light of day

While Owl teaches us through the dark.

She teaches us about our own transformation. As we change through the dark, Owl helps us with our fears of the unknown.  She helps us in the world of shadow. As Dewin  says in a comment in one of his current posts,  “She is a perfect companion for navigating safe passage through the dark.”

Trust that everything is unfolding as it must.
















This unique earth vessel we wear is ephemeral,

while our souls are eternal.  A drop of water within a beautiful sea.






We bloom, we flower, we die…only to be reborn. Each small death grieved, each rebirth celebrated.







There is beauty in the death as well, as it offers seeds from its once vital life

Just as a flower grows and blossoms in an atmosphere of nutrition, moisture and plenty of sun light, so we grow more toward who we are in an atmosphere of love, acceptance and joy.

These asters are accepting of who they are and of what is.

If we see that mirror, we become more that way. Then it echoes all over the world.








The less judgement about what is, the more creative and expansive we will be.






The more we can compassionately forgive ourselves for our judgements, the more freedom we experience.

Into the flow of Love

The canvass is yours to paint.



Click on photos for a closer view

Each Transformation (part 1)

This week’s photo challenge is Transformation. Now, how could I let that one go by? It is one of my favorite words. This offering will come in two parts.

Transformations come in all sizes, shapes and colors.

Each opening of a door, each stepping stone across a creek, each “aha” moment, each gate passed

Each new path started, each step across a bridge, each knitted row completed, then on to another piece entirely;

The turning of a page to our next chapter, or beginning another book altogether; the next rung on the ladder – each a metamorphosis.





Each riddle solved, that moves us closer to the Truth of Oneness and Love;








Each death,


each rebirth,




each movement from one state to another;



Each glimpse into who we truly are.  All are transformations of sorts. Small transitions to momentous and memorable shifts. Endings and beginnings.

Nothing stays the same.

Each time we walk into kindness with ourselves and others, we grow and transform.


Each stage of growth, each developmental task realized, learned and moved through;  these are our moments.

We need to appreciate each step along the way, I think. Love each small transition, each transcendental moment, as well as the momentous and memorable transformations.


Each Saturn return every 29 years, as well as each journey of the moon around the earth.






Embrace each fully.

How do we transform to create, accept and expand more loving in this world?

Our essential nature is Love. That is our Authentic Self.  How do we transcend our ego’s comfort zone?

Each time we transform our self and remember our Highter Self in some way, the collective takes another step.

Each mirror noticed, we ascend to new heights as a Whole.

Each time we visit our Shadow or come out of hibernation, we emerge transformed at least a little bit. As we walk through the light, we have to pass through our own shadow for a time.


It is our attitudes, thoughts and beliefs that define our experiences. How will we transmute our ego habits?


The ego shows us the layers and patterns we need to heal.







Thank you, ego.

As we transform into gratitude, peace, happiness, love and compassion, our unresolved issues influence our experience. That’s okay.

Our Authentic Self does not live in duality.  That is the ego’s realm. Ego holds misidentification of lack, unworthiness and fear.

As we awaken into who we truly are, our egos face challenges.  The ego may not be aware of the Authentic Self, so it feels threatened as we move toward the Light. Its job is to keep us safe. It has our best interest at heart. It doesn’t understand “capital H” Heart.  Ego doesn’t understand that being stuck in old patterns holds us back from joy and fulfillment. We need to expand and grow. Ego wants to keep us contracted. It holds on to these ineffective ways of being for dear life. We must love it though these transitions and transformations. We need ego to complete our healing process.

A big transformation is moving from ego identification to Soul identification.

Each time we transform our “little s” self into our Authentic Self,  again – the collective expands as well.

Ego will die many deaths as we grow. We are gentle with ego, as it loses hold of control. Authentic Self now runs the show. Past patterns and coping mechanisms will fall away, as we no longer need them. The trance of this physical manifestation transmutes to one of clear sight and Love. Our patterns are habits we must break in order to grow.

To be continued…..



Peeking At Me Peeking At You

The WP Daily Post Photo Challenge of this week is Peek.

When peeking at someone or something, it is enchanting to notice them peeking back.











A connection is made.














A momentary relationship.












A brief encounter that touches the heart.














And now, as I peek at your heart, there you are peeking at mine.

Blessed Be.