Along My Path

 

This blog post is written in response to the Time machine challenge by Linda, over at litebeing chronicles.

Directions: Pick a time in your life that was critical to your development. You can go back or forwards in time. It can be real or imagined. After all, it is real if you imagine it!      Choose an idea or a skill or a value you hold dear in the present and infuse it into that time period.   Share your story of what happens to positively impact your life.

 

DSC_0071 - CopyLooking back on times in my life that were critical to my development, I can’t narrow them down to one, not even three. My life has been so full of critical moments, I will highlight the most salient.

First of all though, it is part of my belief system that we choose our experiences before we come into this life. I believe in reincarnation, the purpose being Soul growth. I feel it is a privilege to have a body here on this beautiful planet/school.  I can just imagine being on the other side, setting it all up with all my favorite souls, dreaming up life experiences to provide the most growth. “Ok, you be my mom since you need the experience of cancer and leaving your beloved children with an alcoholic father, and since I need the experience of a loving mother in my formative years and the loss of her right before adolescence,”etc. “And you be my very eccentric alcoholic, rage-oholic poet father because…”and so forth.

Going along my timeline, the first event was the onset of asthma at age 2 months. Lungs relate to grief. I was set up to have lung ailments, as my mother’s mom died when I was in the womb, so I absorbed grief through the umbilical cord, right off the bat. More on this later.

The next major event was the illness and death of my beautiful mother. It was in the mid- 60s, when cancer (said in a whisper) was not part of anyone’s conversation. Death was also a hushed word, said only behind closed doors. She loved me. She wanted to protect my innocence until the last minute, so she chose to keep me in the dark. She swore all her friends to secrecy, and my naiveté defended my heart. However, I heard a voice lovingly preparing me for the eventuality. I don’t know if it was the tree under which I often sat, an angel, Spirit, a guide, or my Higher Self, but I was forewarned.  I respect her choice in not telling me, but it taught me that there must be a better way.  I grew up the day she died. I was 12.

Though I had always been a nature loving, spiritual child, having grown up and confirmed (one month before my mother’s death) in the Episcopal Church, I stepped onto a conscious spiritual path soon after she left. I already had a deep understanding that God and Love were synonymous, and that Jesus taught this truth. I began searching for something else, something to ease my pain. There had to be more. I got into the metaphysical world, and my older cousin took me to meetings at the Theosophical Society.  I read everything I could get my hands on. It resonated with me as if I already knew.

Since few people my age had the “spiritual knowledge” I had, or experience with death, I became the go to person for my peers to talk about these things. Adults told me I was “wise beyond my years,” and I liked that. My little ego liked that.

As time went on, and adolescence set in, I lost my self- esteem. I didn’t know how I was supposed to be. I had no role model for “normal.” I watched others to get clues about how I was supposed to act. I felt out of place and inappropriate. It kept me frozen and painfully shy, though I did have good friends. I became obsessed with what people thought of me, which of course I now know is none of my business. I tried to appear spiritual, as that had gotten me acknowledgement before, but my inner critic started hounding me. There was an inner war going on inside between all the different parts of me, and I fell deeper and deeper into depression. This, of course, exacerbated my asthma, and I became quite ill. I couldn’t live with my alcoholic father, so I moved from family to family (mostly friends of my mom), then to a favorite cousin who, though she tried very hard, was going through too much herself to be able to care for me, so I went to a very strict girls’ boarding school. I was so unhappy. I remember crying under a beautiful pine tree every day.

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From Pinterest

It was Nature that saved me. Nature, music and horses. My cousin was diligent in trying to get those needs met for me, for which I am eternally grateful. Thank you, Jessica.

At 17, the day after I graduated from high school, I left Maryland, and went to New Mexico to be part of a metaphysical center there. There were only a very few of those in 1971. The new age movement hadn’t quite become popular yet. One of their teachings was self- forgiveness. I didn’t really understand it then.

I took some classes at the college, met some fun people, tried a lot of different drugs, and pretty much escaped from my inner pain.

I moved to a small mountain town. Several other like- minded people also happened into town at about the same time. We formed a community, and all did our hippie years there, adding hallucinogens to our spirituality (we are all still good friends).  I went through several relationships during those years, including a marriage and divorce. My dear father came to my wedding, and died 3 months later. I was 22.

Another dive into depression.

My lung disease took a big toll, as I was in complete denial about it, and I found myself in the ER about once a month. Jessica, who had since moved to Albuquerque, had had about enough of that, so the last time I was in intensive care, she rescued me, and set me up with every naturopathic practitioner she knew.  So I moved to her home in Albuquerque. I ended up working with a massage therapist, a psychotherapist and a nutritionist/chiropractor. I was on the strongest doses of prednisone and other lung drugs legally possible, and had been told by the medical profession that I had about 2 years to live.  I took that seriously, and changed my lifestyle completely. I was 26.

My learning curve escalated, and I found myself in a serious healing crisis, which put me in bed for over a year. The process of getting well actually made me a lot sicker for a while. At one point, I did die and had a life changing near death experience. A story for another time.

 

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From Deviantart.com

 

Walter, my psychotherapist was a psychosynthesis practitioner. He got me in touch with my inner parts, such as the inner critic, the scared and sad little girl, the  wise one, my Higher Self, the witness, my angry adolescent and others (sub-personalities). He helped me to make friends with them, and get their needs met in healthy ways. He did some past life regressions as well. He taught me that being “spiritual” was all well and good, but that the ego work must be done too. There has to be a balance. So I did a lot of intensive ego work. I can’t even tell you how freeing that was and is. Some of the work we did involved looking through an imaginary window at the little girl that was me.  Through the window, I imagined me as an adult going to her, comforting her, letting her know that I loved her and was there for her. It took a little bit to gain her trust, but we formed a relationship that is healing to this day. Linda mentioned infusing a skill onto a situation for this blog challenge. This was one of those. It worked well. Walter also taught me how to embrace my shadow, make friends with it, and work through deep issues. This freed me to be more authentically in my true Spiritual Self. I had jumped into “higher consciousness” as an intellectual defense to avoid my original pain. If we don’t do the original pain work, it has a tendency to keep pulling us back.

Learning spiritual concepts before I did my childhood pain work helped me initially, but also helped instigate my depression later. The harder I tried to be in my airy fairy, spiritual happy place, the deeper my separation became.

Walter taught me I was not a victim of circumstance, and that I create my own reality. He also taught me how to live in the big picture, in the belief that everything is unfolding in a perfect way. I learned not to fight reality. It is what it is. Acceptance. When fighting reality, one never wins. Having no expectations really helps, as does “being with” whatever the experience is, in a conscious and mindful way.

I went on to become a massage therapist, which was a wonderful profession, but I realized after about 5 years that my true calling was psychotherapy. So, I went back to school, got my BA in psychology, then a Masters in Spiritual Psychology and another in Counseling Services. I also took a two year certification in Psychosynthesis because it had helped me so much. I took a course in Shamanism too. These studies culminated in a 35 year career that has been amazingly fantastic. I have such gratitude.

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by Susan Boulet

When I was 32, my beloved only brother got an AIDS related brain disease. I moved to San Francisco to take care of him through his illness and death. Though excruciatingly sad, I learned more about death, dying, illness and bereavement. It catapulted me into the AIDS world when it was a new epidemic. It was 1986.

After my brother’s death, I went into another deep depression and lung sickness. I came close to death on several more occasions. After I got well, my profession took a huge leap up, and I became the Director of the Emotional Support Program for an AIDS organization. I was there for 10 years.

I had a couple other agency jobs over the years, but maintained a private practice the whole time. I was the clinical supervisor for a children’s outpatient program, so one opportunity I had was to help dying parents tell their children, and help them to cope as a family through it. It was gratifying to help mitigate the suffering of children after difficult situations. My own death and dying experiences helped me be good at this.  Though I am retired from agency work now, I still have a private practice where I do SpiritWalks. I absolutely love it.

I am now married to a wonderful man. We built a house in northern NM in the mountains, and I am extremely happy.  The Dalai Lama said that happiness is the purpose of life. That feels right.

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Nature has remained my deepest connection to Spirit. No matter what, I have always made a point to live in a beautiful, natural setting. Nature has always saved me. I also have close friends, and my beloved Tibetan Tai Chi practice that feeds me on many levels.

It’s interesting that my astrology chart speaks mostly of death/rebirth/transformation being my path in many ways. I do feel comfortable going to those deep places with myself and others. My life experience has given me this, and I am grateful.

This being a time machine challenge, I find the concept of time kind of strange. It just isn’t real. If time is an illusion, I like to think that maybe healing migrates to all time lines, so healing childhood wounds actually heals the child back then. Maybe she felt the certainty that her Higher Self or the adult me was with her. I hope so. I believe the more we do our healing work, it echoes all over the world.  The vibration of healing and Love attract “like” energy, and it grows and GROWS, and ripples, like water, through time. It is never too late to have a happy childhood. I am grateful for the angst that shaped me, developed my compassion, and evoked my Loving.

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Because I love my life, I don’t regret anything that happened. I wouldn’t be the me I am now without having gone through all I did. Everything led me right here, right now. I owe my profession, my friendships, my spirituality and my happiness to what I learned throughout the years. Having gone through grief, I gained skills for my profession as well as the knowledge that I can get through any loss, even though it still feels impossible each time.

Compassionate self- forgiveness is one of those skills I infuse onto any situation that disturbs my peace. I learned about forgiving myself for any judgement whatsoever in my Spiritual Psychology program. Any time I feel hooked by something, I apply love to the places that hurt. Any time I have a judgement about myself or another, I am really judging myself. It only hurts me. Judgement stems from unresolved issues. How I relate to an issue is the real issue, or more specifically, how I relate to myself while I go through an issue is the issue. This world/school mirrors all the places we need to heal, and brings us closer in healing to our Authentic Self or our Loving. When I judge another, I am judging myself. I forgive myself for the judgements. I forgive myself for judging myself as not perfect. I forgive myself for judging another person or group.

If I forgive myself for being a dummy, the judgement is still there. If I forgive myself for judging myself as a dummy, it dissipates.

Further on the timeline, I imagine how I want the future to be. As Linda says “if you imagine it, it is real.” I imagine a healed planet. I imagine only peaceful beings on it. I imagine healing of the bees. Perhaps the planet ascends, as many people are saying, and the people who are awakened into their Loving go with Her.  There are many theories and prophesies out there. Perhaps the illusion of time and the karmic wheel will be left behind. I don’t know. What I do know is that this beautiful planet cannot sustain us as we are today. There has to be a MAJOR shift in consciousness with a GREAT AWAKENING of many. I can imagine that happening. No more greed, anger, hate or FEAR. Only LOVE. Fear and anger amplify the vibration I do not want in the world. Love and forgiveness transform. I choose to envision how I want to see the world, and to live that vision and raise my vibration as best I can today. I choose to envision true solutions to issues, and not to be hooked by what I see on the news, as that disturbs my peace.  I choose to hold the thoughts and feelings of what might be possible, and to dwell in the miracle of Grace, while at the same time living mindfully in the present moment.

An irony of awakening and progressing spiritually is that it is really an unlearning process back to who we really are: a spiritual being having a human experience. It is a letting go of false ideas and coming back to our HEARTS. Spiritual reality is outside ego. Moving more deeply into our spiritual hearts, and experiencing the presence of LOVE allows us to awaken. It dispels judgement and heals the painful illusion of separation.

DSC_0234 - CopyTurns out I had what I needed all along. My happy place is in Nature and in my Loving Heart. Going through all of my life experiences re-taught me these things, and I am glad.

Thank you Linda for this challenge. Next up is a guest blogger, Laura tomorrow.

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98 thoughts on “Along My Path

  1. Pingback: Time Machine Blogging Challenge: It is Off the Chain. Whadya Waiting for? Join Us! | litebeing chronicles

  2. I find myself at a loss for words to describe how I feel after reading this, Mary. Amazement, admiration, agreement and connection come to mind, mostly universal connection. We all are One, aren’t we? Beautiful and moving post, thanks for sharing this with us. Joyful love!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Eliza. That means a lot to me. Thank you for the connection between us, and yes! We are all ONE! Joyful love to you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Mary for such an emotionally rich story that is so elegantly written and tremendously heart-centered. I have no words for all you have endured and what you have done to transform your circumstances. The imagery is also spectacular and helps illustrate the salient points, of which there are so many.

    Clearly you are strong, resilient, and came here to heal and lead by example.
    Thank you!

    Please link to my blog for Laura’s post so people can find it.http://litebeing.com/

    Also feel free to take a time machine badge to add to your sidebar 🙂

    Blessings and love, Linda

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Linda! It is a good challenge and it seems like everyone took it to a deep level inside themselves. Thanks for the badge and I linked Laura to you.
      Blessings and love to you too, Linda.
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Mary, First of all your photos are beyond glorious! They are healing medicine in their exquisite beauty.I especially like the “Reflections of Water”. I would love to have that framed for my home. That rainbow over Lake Powell is perfect for your subject that it highlighted of Nature connecting to your Spirit . What an honor to read your story and gleen from your wisdom gained. Thank you for opening your inner heart to your readers, for our benefit. I’m ever more mindful and grateful that I’m one of those blessed souls that you chose to be in your life. My dear friend. .

    On Fri, Oct 16, 2015 at 9:36 AM, Walking my path: Mindful wanderings

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    • Thank you so much Jenny. You are a dear friend. I’m glad you like the photos, and of course I’m glad you like what I wrote. ❤

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  5. There is nothing more wonderful than discovering one’s happy place. So many moments in your story that resonated with my journey. Your words, “healing migrates to all time lines,” peaked my curiosity. Thank-you for sharing.

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    • Thank you, Olga! Yes! Happy is good. Isn’t this WP way of connecting amazing? I’m glad my story resonates with yours. Have a wonderful weekend.
      Blessings,
      Mary

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  6. That was richly emotional, and it was really great getting to know what has made our Mary, the amazing lady she is today. Taking a spiritwalk with you would be a real treat. Isn’t life just fascinating?
    We are so blessed to have you Mary ❤

    Namaste
    Sindy

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    • Yes! Life is fascinating! I would love to do a SpiritWalk with you! I know we will meet. Maybe that is how. Haha. Or through some portal somewhere! Thank you for being my good friend, Sindy. I value our friendship so much. Have a wonderful weekend.
      Namaste
      Mary

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    • Ms. Mary, I just had a good idea. All of us blogging buddies have wanted to get together, we wanted to do Sedona but finances, and time did not work out for us. I have always wanted to come to that hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque, maybe a great place to have a Word Press gathering? Either way it is on my bucket list. ❤ Beautiful weather here, there?

      Namaste
      Sindy

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      • Sounds great. It is always the first two weekends in October.
        Sedona sounds good too. Wherever – it sounds like a good idea. How many people do you think might come?
        Yes, beautiful weather here too. I live about 3 hours from Albuquerque. It is cold here – about 35 degrees, but still very beautiful.
        Love,
        Mary

        Liked by 1 person

  7. What an amazing story! Thanks for sharing. You endured so many hardships and yet have made peace with all of it as you see that you wouldn’t be you without your experiences. You clearly managed to transform your many difficult experiences into treasures which help others. That is impressive.

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    • Thank you Karin! I really appreciate that! I am impressed with your journey as well. It is nice to have this connection here on WP.
      Peace,
      Mary

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  8. I have been looking out all day for this post Mary, 🙂 I have only known you through WP a very short time.. but as you so rightly say.. Time does not exist.. For It seems like I have known you for ever..

    It never fails to amaze me how our emotional body affects our physical one.. and your life’s path was strewn with obstacles, emotions, and tests right from the beginning.. Each one teaching you, preparing you, for the blue-print ahead.. The one that you chose within that higher dimension so that you would have the skill and the tools to help so many more come to understand themselves, as you helped them learn who they were as they released their own pain and emotional baggage..

    I was touched by all you said..
    Depression seems to visit those of us who are to help those in need.. And horses were my own saviour, in my teens.. ( I would tag along my farming friends, to ride them )
    Nature is my own retreat.. Its my own sanctuary where I speak to the trees, and all is healed..

    I will be back to read this post often.. for there is still much I wish to digest..

    Love and Blessings and thank you Mary for sharing your journey with us.. I am pleased our paths have crossed..

    Love Sue ❤

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    • Thank you so much, Sue! Seems we have a lot in common. Yes, it does seem like we have known each other long before our connection here on WP. It really is an amazing way of connecting. I guess this was part of our blueprint long before it even existed. I am grateful to have this connecion with you, Sue, and look forward to more journeying together.
      Love and blessings,
      Mary

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  9. Absolutely divine post. Wisdom, truth, love and heartfelt honesty are the feelings you expressed so beautifully. We do call ourselves into this dream, we call life. Sometimes I forget I have the power to change every situation. “Spiritually is really an unlearning process back to who we really are:” I love this line and the more I understand this process, the easier my life becomes. Thankyou for your presence and light Mary and for reminding us who we are. Much love.

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    • Ah Karen,
      Thank you for such a loving comment. It was kind of a long post. Thanks for sticking with it. Your presence are such a shining light here on WP. We have much in common, and I value our connection.
      Much love to you, dear Karen.
      Mary

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    • Hi Nikki! Yes, there is! I know you are part of it, my dearest corn hole partner! I’d love to talk with you this weekend. I want to know how your ceremony weekend went and share about your sunprotection stuff! I love you!
      Blessings and Light,
      Mary

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  10. Thank you for sharing your unique story and perspective, Mary. And by unique, I mean Universal, too. I was also raised in the Episcopal Church and went on to seek a different kind of spirituality. Your healing journey is quite the epic. Having had my sister and husband die by my side, I relate to the appreciation of what a great teacher grief can be. Thanks again for sharing the wisdom you’ve grown from your life and decisions.

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    • Thank you Scillagrace! Seems we have some things in common. Yes, quite the teacher, grief. It opens the heart in a big way. Love and loss – such a strange pairing. Yet, it makes perfect sense. Thank you for stopping by and commenting on such a long post!
      Peace,
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Julianne. I appreciate that. Let me see if I can figure out your Namaste sign.
      _/|\_ Aha! Yours looks better. Must be a different font. Haha. Anyway, thanks again. It was a long post. Thanks for sticking with it and commenting.
      Namaste
      Mary

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  11. I have been reading the Time Machine Blogging posts and came to yours today, I am glad I did as I really enjoyed it. I resonated with so much of what you wrote! Your comment “if we don’t do the original pain work, it has a tendency to keep pulling us back”, can definitely help me.
    Your take on time, specifically where you said “…so healing childhood wounds actually heals the child back then. Maybe she felt the certainty that her Higher Self or the adult me was with her.” Gives me a lot of hope, it actually gave me goose bumps.
    And I have to say that I looooved your comment about the news, I feel exactly the same way!
    Thanks for this fantastic post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, right? The news! It is always so sensationally negative and fear based. What if there was an occasional yucky thing and most of it was about people being kind to each other?!
      It sounds like your inner child needs some love for her wounds. I have so much compassion for what mine went through. Sounds like you went through some hard stuff too. Thanks for reading and commenting Kellie. It was a good challenge, Ms. Linda put on, don’t you think?
      Have a nice weekend.
      Mary

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      • I completely agree about the news! There are so many wonderful things human beings do for each other (and nature, and animals) every day, where are those stories? It’s sad what we, as a collective, focus on.
        Yes, I am really enjoying the challenge by the lovely Linda, I have been touched by the depths of the sharing in the posts. You have a wonderful weekend too, I’m looking at our first reasonably hot day of the spring (30c) in Aust.

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      • I look forward to your post for the challenge. I know, news should be that – wonderful things.
        So you are going into spring. I am going into winter. I have several friends on WP who live in Australia. My cousin lives in New Zealand, so I am used to being in the opposite season as those downunder. I usually resist winter during late fall, and I am now…but I do enjoy sitting by the fire watching the snow fall, then the glistening prismy melting the next sunny day. I love spring with the warming air and flowers blooming too. Better, really. But it is time to hibernate, and that feels good to.
        Blessings to you Kellie,
        Mary
        Mary

        Liked by 1 person

      • Time to hibernate! Love that, what a great thought. I went to NZ about two years ago, it was so beautiful. Have you visited your cousin in NZ? Yes, the different seasons bring different beauty and feelings…I feel very lucky to see all four where I am.
        Yes, I’ll be posting in the challenge, just a small piece – it is set for the 19th but with the UTC time on WP I’ve got my fingers crossed it posts on the correct date 😉

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      • Yes! I have visited my cousin! Back in 2000. I was with her on the North island, then went with a friend for 10 days in a camper “caravan” to the southe island. Sooo beautiful! We were astounded by the beauty!
        Don’t worry if the date doesn’t come out right. You are the tomorrow to our today and then 6 hours ahead in light time, right? Maybe post a day ahead…or just not worry about it. It’s not set in stone. I look forward to reading it!
        Mary

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  12. Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. I grew up with asthma, too, often in hospitals and emergency rooms, died a couple times. My Dad had an affair before or during the time she got pregnant with me. I had close family die every six years.

    How lovely you got to counsel dying parents to talk to their children after you had suffered from your Mom’s secrecy.

    I love NM. I lived at Lama foundation lone summer and fall.

    Thanks again for sharing yourself.

    Ho

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    • Sounds like we have some things in common, Katelon.
      I’m sorry you had asthma. No fun. Dying was ok, though. Haha. You beat me! Every 6 – for me major ones every 10 withless close, but sad ones in between. While at the AIDS organization, 100 of my clients died. Some closer than others. I found that I just let myself get close, then switched gears when they died. Lot’s of good lessons in that!
      Yes, NM is great. Lama Foundation? Near Taos? Was’t Ram Dass there for a while? I love him so much.
      Have a good weekend, Katelon. Thanks for your comment!
      HO

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  13. Hi Mary,

    I really savored the opportunity to get to know you a little more in this post. I read this a couple of times– once quickly when I should have been working… ha!– and once again when I had more time. I was struck by the wisdom and grace of your opening paragraph, where you are witnessing some of the souls who would participate in some of the most difficult times of your life– and who could have been perceived as letting you down or harming you– as perfect friends. We need nothing more than this type of generosity. It is both courageous and transformative.

    I also admire your comfort and ability to be a source of comfort to others in difficult times. The Spiritwalks sound amazing, and I can readily imagine the many you have helped and encouraged along their way.

    I like what you said about the illusion of time, and imagine it in a similar way. I do think the way we open to healing in the present ripples through all times somehow. I can’t imagine how we make it through without such an effect… Ha! When I read your words I feel like that future you imagine has already laid down roots…

    Much Love
    Michael

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    • Looks like we commented on each other’s posts at the very same clock time in this funny illusion of it. Haha. Thank you, Michael for such a generous comment. I also savored getting to know you better in your entry. That Linda took us all a level deeper into each other’s hearts. I am happy about that and so grateful for our connection. The uniqueness of us all and the Oneness all at once. Such a beautiful journey.
      Love,
      Mary

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  14. Mary.
    Dear Mary.
    I am truly humbled to be reading and replying to your quite amazing post.
    It is also truly an honour to see how many people you have touched here, with this extraordinarily honest, yet exceptionaly loving, post.
    Yet now I know more of your ‘story’, I realise that you have done much harder things too, like learning when to ‘seperate’ from the ones you had become close to as you supported them to travel into their own deaths and future lives.

    it seems as if indeed you planned the hardships so you could then help others – later on being able to support parents who were passing, and hlep their chidlren.

    A truly generous and wise soul Mary, and brave. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your journey with the whole world, and us who have stumbled into your blog.

    One thing I have to say is that for me, here, the lack of nature is very soul destroying. not beinn able to see the stars at night, nor a clear horizon.

    Time – such an overrated thing. I’m used to time jumping all over the place, so I dont really take it seriously. Havent warn a “watch’ in years – they do weird things when i wear them.

    and love. there is only love, or fear, take your pic, it never ceases to amaze me how so many people chose fear, when they have the opportunity to chose love. so sad. when negativity arises, no matter how bad, so important to just turn it around. make something good out of the bad. dont give in to the bad, just move on….. with love… I loved the bit about forgiving yourself for your own judgements then letting that judgement just fly away…..

    Mary, Mary, hands clasped and bowing in the presence of grace.

    Thank you, dear friend.

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    • Wow Debbie! I am humbled by your deep heart felt praise. Thank you! You are a dear friend.

      Yes, only love.

      I really hope you get a good dose of Nature very soon. Seriously.
      Blessings, grace and ease to you.
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate the reblog. Yes, it is a healing journey with Nature as a constant.
      Blessings to you.
      Mary

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  15. Hi Mary
    Thanks for posting such an amazing blog. So interesting to hear about your fascinating life and how everything seemed to lead you to your life’s work.
    As you say, everything boils down to love or fear, so why not live in love? Still something I am trying to do all the time … but I will get there.
    Love Cate x

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    • Hey Cate!
      Thank you. Yes, why not live in love? I try all the time too. If we could do it all the time, I guess we wouldn’t really need to be here. The good news is , the more we do it, we get better at knowing when we are out of balance and can come back to love.
      Love to you, Cate.
      Mary

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  16. Mary, what a wonderful reflection on your life. Thank you for sharing some of your most vulnerable moments in your life and then the healing that came afterwards. You are an inspiration.

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    • Thank you Kris. You have been such a big part of the last 30 years! Thank you for being there in some of those vulnerable moments, like David’s illness, death and my grieving process. You are an inspiration to me as well.
      Love,
      Mary

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    • Hey Ka,
      Yeah, I remember that. We were both asleep. Haha. Not really, but it wouldn’t really be that far fetched. Thanks for reading. I too am very grateful for our connection. Aloha.
      Love,
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Many moments in your memories reflected my own. ” Adults told me I was “wise beyond my years,” and I liked that. My little ego liked that. As time went on, I lost my self- esteem.” I still seem to be searching for my self-esteem and your search of spirituality was another moment of connection. The only time in my life that I felt myself was when I attended a spiritual college in Iowa, Maharishi University of Management. Where I developed my art style, eat vegetarian meals, and meditated everyday with teachers.

    At times I feel like I’ve lost hope, and what is most interesting is that nature and friends bring it back. Moment after moment when telling your story I felt like I was walking along side of you… I teared up when typing that because it feels good to hear my path is not so different for walking. I thank you for your life, your story and your kind heart. Thank you again for this post 🙂 ❤ n (((Hugs)))

    ~Mandi

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  18. Wow Mary – what a learning experience this life has been for you.
    You have taken those lessons to bring a peace and happiness to your own life. Nature does heal and I wish more people would learn that one simple thing. It does seem like many who suffer through illness, the process of death, dying and have been affected by alcoholism/drug abuse become healers. Your education, learning and growing has, I am sure, brought peace and joy to many throughout the years.
    In my Therapeutic Touch class today we discussed a bit of this and how some of us know from an early age that we are healers but do not learn until after we have learned our own lessons. Reading your post, although not written today, came to me in perfect timing. Nature sisters and one day I hope to meet you in person for a Spirit Walk. Love and Light!

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    • Hey Sandy,
      Thanks. Yes, it has been quite a life. I am very grateful.
      Yeah, I think that is true, that so many of us know we are healers, but have to do our own work first.
      You are a Nature sister, and I would love to meet you as well. A SpiritWalk would be awesome!!
      Hugs, Love and Light!
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

  19. What a beautiful story Mary, an extra-ordinary experience that has brought you to your heart and environment… and your beautiful vision of the future… it all reminds me of my book I have just published, Your Magnificent Self… A Journey to Freedom. They say there is a book in everyone, maybe its your time now. take care, Love Barbara x

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    • Thank you Barbara! I am grateful for my life journey and where it has taken me.
      I hope millions of people buy and get to read your book! Congratulations on publishing it!
      Blessings, Love and Light Barbara,
      Mary

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  20. The details are different, but the essence of your journey is the same as mine – breath therapy, early childhood and past life regression, healing the inner child, some shamanic work – right up to envisioning the world as healed and living *now* in that world. Same. Same. Your story gives me confirmation, a mirror of the state of my own inner truth. It’s been lovely to get to know you a little bit.
    Alison

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    • Thank you so much Alison! We really are mirrors for each other. I appreciate you coming by, and I look forward to going to your site. I have seen you over at Embracing Forever, and always like what you say. Thank you for your visit and I look forward to getting to know you.
      Peace Alison,
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

  21. what an amazing wanderer you are,
    I enjoyed wandering through your journey, you have woven a wonderful tapestry of emotion within the highs and lows of being here at this moment,
    Thank you for sharing your world
    Take Care…You Matter…
    )0(
    maryrose

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    • Thank you, Maryrose.I do love to wander. I went to your site and loved it! Beautiful poetry and videos. Nice to make this connection.
      Blessings,
      Mary

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re Welcome and Thank you for stopping by to read my thoughts,
        I hope you will wander in again…..
        I was re-reading your post and wandering within the images when I heard someone I have known for over 40 years committed suicide last night….the calmness of each photo and your words seem to draw me to your title of “along my path” and think Joe-Bill is on another path now, and I wished him a safe arrival within finally finding peace from his demons….
        I am not around much but I will enjoy the wander in your thoughts
        Thank you for sharing yourself with us
        Take Care…You Matter…
        )0(
        maryrose

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      • Oh, Maryrose. I am so sorry. It is so sad when someone takes their life. When it is no longer worth it to live, it must be so excruciatingly hard. Also very hard for the ones left behind. I wrote you a comment this morning and I don’t know what happened to it. I’m glad you found some comfort here and I hope your friend finds comfort on the other side as he walks his path. Please be extra gentle with yourself.
        Peace,
        Mary

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  22. very interesting post…very. But one question: did the Dalai Lama really say happiness is the purpose of life? It seems so…un-Buddhist, eh, what with all that suffering stuff abounding.

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  23. Yes, he did. He is all about happiness. He wrote a whole book on it, The Art of Happiness. Not sure if that is where he said it, but I heard him say it in person. Buddhists want to eliminate suffering. Thanks for stopping by and for your comment. How are you Badfish?

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  24. Sounds good. Wouldn’t that be nice to sit down and have a cup of tea together. I’d love that. Ok – no sugar.
    Love and Hugs back. 🙂

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  25. Dear WMP –
    You are an incredible human being and an incredible spirit.
    I’m so glad I’ve met you. Thank you for sharing your incredible journey here. You’ve been through so much, but I can feel the wisdom of your trials and tribulations seeping into all of your well-written words. You’ve lived more than one lifetime in this lifetime alone!!!!

    May you continue to grow, learn, walk in nature, and share your gifts with us.
    We appreciate you more than you could ever know.

    Hugs,
    O and OM.

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