Focusing on the crispness and blurs of focus today, as I ponder the WordPress weekly photo challenge about such.
Throughout any given day, I experience many phases of focus. In this moment, watching the shadows of leaves dancing on my page, I concentrate on being in the moment, focused on Nature. The breeze is soft on my skin, as the grasses sway. I hear the haunting flute notes of the mourning dove, the “yank yank” chatter of the busy nuthatch as he eats insects on the tree, mostly upside down.
I hear the melodic songs of the grosbeak and the robin;
the rhythmic clicking of the cicada as it warms up for its continuous afternoon trill; the chatter of the red squirrel high in the conifer trees; the distant echoing of thunder; the musical beating wings of hummingbirds;
the “bougainviiiiiiia,” “Mamameeeea,” territorial cry of the red winged blackbird;
The chirping crickets, the “drink your teeeeea,” phrases of the spotted towhee; the sweet song of the wren; the cry of the red tailed hawk; the buzzing of bees and other insects;
the incessant humorous repetitions of the parent magpies teaching their young words, inflections and sentences. If I were patient and focused enough, I could probably figure out their different sounds, but languages are hard to learn, especially those not Latin based.
I see colors, shapes, patterns, and movement. I smell pine, oak leaves and flowering wild roses.
This focus and attunement with Nature always brings me to happiness, gratitude, and being in my heart space.
At other times, I find myself triggered into a focus of sadness and anger, especially because of the mistreatment of our Mother.
Sometimes it is just a matter of taking care of my body. Have I eaten enough? Gotten enough sleep? Lack of these makes me irritable, which can put me into an awful mood, focused on what makes me upset, and I go downhill from there.
What is the world mirroring to me in these moments? What has arisen for me to heal, forgive, and love?
The incompetence of huge corporations, as they wield such power over our lives, frustrates me to great lengths. How much control do I have over this situation? Not much. The only thing I have control of is my perception, focus and reaction, and then how I am with myself during them.
Will battling our land line phone company bring back our disabled service any sooner? I have fought with them, going around in circles, solving nothing. One can’t win when fighting reality. What is it about being a victim that needs focus and healing? I also had a recent experience in an airport that was traumatic for me – again feeling like a victim. I have compassion for my inner victim, and forgive myself for judging her. How could I have taken better care of myself?
By letting go of the need for control
Letting go more
Letting go sooner
Sometimes we need to focus on our healing.
Sometimes being out of focus is important. There is great beauty in being out of focus…in just being. Sometimes in prayer, when asking for something specific, details are important in our visualizations.
At other times, we need to leave space for the Highest Good of All Concerned. We may not know what that looks like, and may only have a blurred idea. When we feel the Divine Beauty in our hearts, details fall away.
Blurriness inspires the imagination.
Judgements steal my focus too, at times. A mirror of this for me is the magpies harassing the red – tailed hawks. I judge them for grabbing the feathers of my friend, and devoted spirit animal, leaving them torn and tattered.
The blackbirds chase them too. These hawks don’t hurt them. Theirs is a diet of rodents. The magpies eat baby birds out of the nest. Are they projecting that onto the hawk? Cowbirds lay their eggs in smaller bird’s nests, because they don’t want to take care of their own children. Their babies grow up bigger, and out- compete the host babies. Why don’t the blackbirds go after them? It doesn’t seem fair. But there are no judgements in Nature. The magpies had just fledged their babies and felt extra protective.
See? It is again my projection about big corporations and political power. When do I stand up? When do I let it go? If I have no control, let it go. If I am guided to act, then act.
A double focus is sometimes called for. Higher, bigger picture and smaller, detailed picture. Hawk vision and bug vision.
A bug’s journey over the great abyss
As Jackson Browne wrote in his song, For a Dancer in the early ‘70’s – “Perhaps a better world is drawing near. Just as easy it could all disappear.” Maybe we will leave the planet as a species. She will heal Herself when we are gone. Maybe a miracle appears, and we pull out of this. Maybe we all ascend and She comes with us. I guess we will find out. In the meantime, what is our focus?
I haven’t posted (with the exception of a small Thanksgiving faerie) since November, 8th – election day. I don’t want to get into politics, only to say it threw me. My muse left me that day. My focus has been all over the place. I have been journaling a lot, but nothing posted. Red-tailed hawk has been sticking to me like glue – following me on my walks, answering me as I try to imitate her cry and call to her, circling me when I need to remember Truth, planting herself on the tree just outside my bedroom when I need support or comfort.
She reminds me always of the big picture. I do better there – keeping my focus on the Trust that something of Higher Good is unfolding. My goal is to focus on Love, Beauty, Gratitude and Grace. What we focus on is our choice. It creates our reality.
However, I can’t overlook what needs to heal within me. I pay attention to the mirrors and shadows that call my attention.
As I forgive myself for judgements that I project, healing takes place. My inner child is joyful and wise. She is my muse.
I hold a double focus – being mad at CenturyLink, for example, who can’t be bothered with fixing our phone – doing what I can to remedy the situation, then healing the little victim within me, with the help of lacey blue flax, swaying in the wind unharmed. She holds no tension in her body. The wind bothers her not at all. A double focus of this woodland scene, and the worldwide scene. Projecting Love and Grace.
Higher Self witnessing small self with Compassion
Today is the longest day. The day of most light. I celebrate the Light today, and focus on that, like these little twin faeries concentrating on the Light ahead.
I have missed you all. Hopefully I am back. My intention is to visit those of you with blogs, and see what you have been up to. I have felt my absence from you every day, and longed for my muse to return. I have had no internet for long stretches as well, so no communication was possible, except on rare trips to town. Even my travels took me to places with no internet or phone service.
I have had a lot of great experiences since November – travels, adventures, time with loved ones, lots of depth, laughter and tears, and beautiful quiet time in the woods.
Part of my missing muse came about from the felt sense that I could no longer “walk my talk,” having posted Chaos and Calm right before the election. I have worked on forgiving myself for all that nonsense, too, and know that you all will welcome me back lovingly.
Thank you for your friendship and support. Happy Solstice!!!
Blessings, Love and Light!