Light of Love

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First Light

Rumi said, “Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.”

We were born connected to Love.  Depending on what our world was like, we learned over time that maybe we weren’t good enough, and we began to focus on ways to be worthy. We learned to focus on this fear of not being what others expected or wanted from us. We thought that that was real. It isn’t. We thought that we were separate from each other and the Divine. We are not.


When I was little, I was mostly about Love. I loved everything and everyone. I use to skip down the path to the rhythm of a little mantra always looping in my heart. “I love…I love…I love.” When I was old enough to learn letters, I wrote it in crayon on my bedroom wallpaper. How could my mom be mad at that? She smiled and said it could stay, but never to write or draw on the wall again.

I felt enchanted by Nature. Being often ill, I spent a great amount of time sitting and walking quietly in the woods listening and loving. I felt the Divine essence in every creature, every stone, every leaf, every tree.

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When my mom died, which coincided with the throws of puberty, suddenly life was different.  There were expectations, judgements and meanness. My mantra changed to, “I want to go home… I want to go home.”  My heart had gone from an expanded state of Love to one of sadness and yearning.

I believe our relationship with our parents can be a mirror for our true relationship with the Divine. Mine became one of separation and deep longing.

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For years, I longed for that assumed Love. I looked outside myself – in spiritual teachers, in relationships, in adventure.  In Nature, I felt it. My heart would well up and I would cry with deep appreciation of beauty and the feeling of home. In Nature, I remembered. In Nature, I knew who I was. In Nature I felt the Oneness. I was inseparable from my surroundings. I would become a flower, a tree, a bird and I would experience the felt sense of Home.

Today, as I stand on Holy Ground, I feel that every inch I touch and see, is the whole planet. I sit on the soil of the Mother and feel Her Love come up my spine to my Heart. I look up to the expansive, blue Father Sky. Every inch is the whole atmosphere, and I feel the Love come down through the top of my head to my Heart. When they meet there, it becomes Light. I take it in and project it to all the flora and fauna around me. I feel it radiating out of my Heart, out to all of our land, around the whole canyon, the state, the country, the globe until I am one with the world in love.

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When I try to do this on concrete, where there are no trees, it just doesn’t happen. In the world, my ego gets involved. Now, mind you, I don’t really have anything against my ego. We have been together through thick and thin. It means well, but it is a bit misled. It often falls for the fear, and makes up stories around some event, something someone said or did, how someone might have looked at me. It looks for evidence to support these stories. It judges me for my reactions and ways I handle some things. It wants credit for things that aren’t important. It wants to be right. It can be competitive, guilty and full of resentment. It can feel scarcity, limitation and struggle. It can feel insecure. It wants me to be liked or really to be loved. And there it is. Love.

Though difficult, my little ego is teachable. Or, it isn’t really about teaching it. It is about unlearning what was mistakenly learned. It is about remembering. Remembering we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Remembering we are not separate. We are One. Separation is an illusion. It is Love shut down. It is a false sense of life, a false sense of Self. We fear it. As we let go our fear, we see there was never Separation at all.

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I try to keep my little ego surrounded and full of Light, but dang if it doesn’t get caught up in fear from time to time. I just love it, forgive it and feel compassion toward it, as it shows me what still needs healing. The thing is, fear just isn’t real. Anything not Love is just not truth. It helps her when I love her pain. It settles it, heals it like Tums for a bellyache or a lollypop at the doctor’s office. It just melts away. Love can never be destroyed. Just hidden.


I love my heart. I love that it knows what’s true. I love how quickly it notices when ego is in action and how quickly it can soothe her, and find balance again. Expectations, judgements and attachment to any outcome can still get me in trouble, but with compassionate self -forgiveness and the presence of unconditional loving, it’s all good.

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It’s all a mirror. To judge another is to judge ourselves.  An interesting thing is when healing on one level, the mirror may show up on other levels as well, as we are holographic in nature. Looking in the mirrors of other’s eyes,  we can ask ourselves, “what is it I see that I have lost? What part of my power have I given away? What piece of myself did I let someone take from me? What baggage is this person triggering for me? Of what part of myself am I being reminded? Or what early experience?

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I try to know the difference between the state of Love and the feeling of love. It is kind of fun to play with that distinction. I have been romantically in love and felt like it was Divine love, but is it? When I feel so at-one with my partner and I can’t tell where I begin and where they end. Is that love or Love? When I feel in Love with all the animals, trees and grasses, is that personal love? When I feel it all as a big Embrace, I feel that it is Divine Love – the State of Love.

I hold the intention to be my authentic self, and in my Loving in every moment – and I can feel its power. My intention is to engage with Love, to embrace it fully in the Now Moment, and to extend Love Unconditionally to everyone with whom I interact. I aspire to be multidimensional, and to live in a state of Divine Love, Harmony and Grace. I choose peace, surrender and the letting go of mental and emotional resistance to what is, as this strengthens separation too.  Radiating in Unity of Consciousness and being fully present with gratitude in each present moment is where I desire to live.

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As water rolls of this duck’s back, it confirms my commitment to let go of resistance.

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Again, with another sign, I am reminded to let go…

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I posted once about the State of Happiness and the feeling of happiness. The posts were Happiness and Finding Your Own North Star. This is similar. The State of Unconditional Love and the wonderful feeling of personal love. Both seem important. I remember as a child, I really did Love every earthly being. I loved Jesus because He was synonymous with Love. Part of me wants to be in Unconditional Love all the time and love everyone equally;  but then again I also love the precious uniqueness of myself and my loved ones. In a way, this causes the very separateness that I don’t want in the world. But, I am where I am. I can’t be further along, no matter how much I may want it, until I get there.

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There is so much going on in the world that pains me, and contracts my heart. There is so much beyond my control. I wish I could help more. Yet, I also feel a Happiness and Love in my Heart. I do what I can and I project as much Love onto the situation as I can in prayer. I love this paragraph from one of Michael Mark’s posts:

“Were we to devote ourselves to Love, at the expense of being in position- at least temporarily- to offer any intelligent opinions on what is happening to ourselves or to one another or to this planet, we’d (generally speaking) feel like fools or losers or lazy bums or uncaring blowhards or whatever.  How hard is it to say, “I have no idea,” while also saying, “but I care a great deal.”  Seriously, imagine when someone asks your opinion on how to shape this world up, and you say, “I haven’t a clue of what to do or say or be about it, but I trust in Love,” or “I have no idea and I cannot even come up with an opinion on that particular issue that is affecting millions of people, but right now, I feel completely full and I am so glad to be sharing this moment with you.”

He then goes on to ask, “Is Love enough? What could it be, really?”

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Miracles abound. Right now! I do believe that Love can heal the world. Love dissolves all negativity, all fear. As we heal and regenerate ourselves with Love and Compassion, it ripples out, and echoes all over the planet.

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Do you believe Love can heal the world? How do you tell the difference between Love and love? Have you awakened to a deeper, purer understanding of Love other than personal love? What is that like for you?

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93 thoughts on “Light of Love

    • Hey Dennis! Nice to see you here. Thank you for your comment. I hope you two are well.
      I went through czz not long ago for a wedding in Cloudcroft. I didn’t know how to reach you. Could you fb private message me with your phone? Or email me at Thanks. It would be great to see you.


  1. Reblogged this on Tania Marie's Blog and commented:
    I love this share by Mary…maybe my favorite of hers.

    In answer to her question:

    Have you awakened to a deeper, purer understanding of Love other than personal love?

    Yes, I have…and it moves me into a place of harmonious love that experiences the beauty and miracle within every single experience and extension of All That Is.

    Peace and gratitude sweet kindred spirit, Mary. Thank you for sharing this piece of you and wonderful reflection for us all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Tania!!! That means a lot to me. Reading your answer to my question, you totally radiate your answer. I see you as someone who lives in a place of harmonious love that experiences the beauty and miracle within every single experience and extension of All That Is. Thank you for the reblog!! ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I took my time to digest this beautiful post. I didn’t want to rush through all the wisdom and love it offers us Mary. Your pictures alone were a gorgeous expression of peace and love and this is always found in nature. Unlearning my past wounds and experiences with love, do take time and gentle nurturing to heal. I too see and know ego as an old friend now, that teaches me over and over to listen and learn. Your past wounds of death, pain and loss, has somehow allowed light and love to grow in you and this expands deeply to us all. I truly believe love is the only gift to heal ourselves and each other, but it must always begin with us first. Thankyou for your shining light and healing words.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Wow, Karen. Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment. Your own past wounds of death, pain and loss has filled you with light and love, Karen. I’m glad I can mirror that for you. For some people, I think, when their heart breaks, it breaks closed, and they can become bitter. We are fortunate that ours broke open. Losing a child is probably the hardest pain one can know in this life, and you have become a shining light and healer. Thank you Karen, for your friendship. It is a treasure.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you dearest Kris. You know that you have awakened to the deeper understanding of Love. You don’t need to be going to the Other Side any time soon!!!! Sure, sure we never die…but I need you here! 🙂 I love you too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oooh, I love this post!! It is so so beautiful! 💖😊💖😊. I agree with you 💖. And yes, of course we can heal the world by love 😊💖. We just need to believe that we can, and remember, there is no evil, there is onky absence of love, and where there is emptiness, there is always light to fill it 💖🕯. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Trini! I must have read your post as you read mine. 🙂
      I’m glad you liked this. I knew you would believe in Love healing the world.
      Yes, I love that – there is always light to fill the emptiness! You are so special, Trini. Your heart is so genuine and true.
      Hugs back.
      Love and Light,

      Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a good thing to do! Good way to start the day. Thanks for stopping by Alex, and for liking so many of my posts. That is a nice way for me to start the day!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Mary, I am a cry baby, so I cried reading this. I especially enjoyed the paragraph on ego. I went back to your posts on Happiness, thank you and the commenters for sharing Dalai Lama stories, it made me laugh together with him just reading about it. I surely do believe that Love can heal the world, yes, there will still be ilness and death, conflict and disasters, but perhaphs less suffering and fewer wounds.
    Personal loves and Love, it is like streams and a river to me. Each one feeds the other, sometimes the streams dry out, personal loves come and go, change into memories, but the big river Love feeds them all with fresh water, it always flows, sometimes seems to be still, stagnant, covered with algae, but like you say, it is always there, just hidden. Sometimes one small stream may awaken the sleeping river too.
    Thank you, Mary. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh my gosh, Bee, what a beautiful response! I love your analogies using water. Beautifully written and so wise. I love how you weave Love and love and how they awaken each other. How the small stream may awaken the sleeping river too. Thanks so much, Bee. ❤
      Love and Light

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Opher!
      It may be that you need to edit me in your Reader. There are options for receiving posts and comments. I don’t know. Seems like for me it randomly chooses what I want unless I edit – although sometimes it chooses what I want. Go figure. 🙂 But it might work now that you have followed again.
      Take care.


  5. Thanks for sharing your lovely story and your profound reflections about ove and Love here, Mary.
    I like the way you see messages in nature, the water off a duck’s back and the leaf which is let go. Life seems full of metaphors when we are on the spiritual path. Everything can become a message.
    About love and Love: I think that love is within duality, and Love is beyond duality, i.e. It is that which embraces and transcends both poles of duality.
    While in duality, we might think that love or Love must always show up as kindness.
    But I think it is more about being appropriate than about being kind.
    When Jesus turned the tables of the money changers in the temple over, he did not seem kind. But his action was appropriate.
    Actually, there are two recent posts herebon WP which deal with this topic of love and Love.
    One is a channeling,
    The other one is a story about how seeming unkindness can lead to a positive change
    I find it interesting to observe that the same subject pops up at the same time in many different posts of people who (probably) don’t know each other.
    Much love,

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Karen. Thank you for your thoughts and the links. I agree about love being in duality and that Love transcends and embraces all. And yes, it is very interesting that so many people are bringing up this same subject. Must be a sign of the times.
      I guess being appropriate is often the kindest thing, like tough love.
      Much love/Love to you too Karen ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • You are BEYOND EXQUISITE!! Thank you for your very special words. I love you with all my heart too, my beautiful cousin.
      ❤ ❤ ❤


    • Thank you so much HSE!! Isn’t that just a wonderful feeling to well up like that with resonance? There are so many people here in this WP community that make me feel like that. I love it here. Thank you for coming by, reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Another amazing thought provoking post, Mary. Thank you for sharing it with us – and what wonderful photos.
    The Beatles were right “All you need is love…”
    Have a fabulous festive season.
    Cate x


    • Thanks Cate!
      They absolutely were right! About a lot of things, but that certainly in particular. I sing that a lot. I need to figure out how to do a musical note on the computer. Sometimes I write All you need is love…doot do do do doo…love is all you need. But if someone hadn’t heard it, would they just confusedly read the doot do do part in regular language? Haha. Anyway, thanks for commenting, Cate and you have a wonderful festive season as well.


  7. Dear Mary,
    Beautiful and thought provoking as usual. As usual I had to read your blog several times . With each reading, I gleaned a little more understanding..
    I felt like you were speaking to me in the paragraph, “what is it (that I see reflected in another’s eyes) that I have lost? What part of my power have I given away?… all the way to the end of the paragraph.
    To my understanding at this point in my life; the difference between love and Love is that Love is apart from self altogether. If we are to” love our neighbor as our self” then we would have to love ourself to treat them with any kind of love. At the same time our action of love to and for that person , animal or earthly creature, would have to be void of any motivation for one’s own self. ( except perhaps that self is compelled to act in compassion).
    I tried to think of a different word than exquisite for your photos as illustrations, I just couldn’t come up with a better word. I will have to repeat the adjective that some of your other followers have used. Your photo illustrations are exquisite. The blog is beautiful. I’m very grateful to be able to call you a close friend.


    • Thank you for your kind words, Jenny. I’m so glad you like the photos. I certainly enjoy taking them.
      Thank you for answering the question about love and Love. It is always interesting to me to hear different perspectives. For me, love is a wonderful feeling. I am grateful to be able to feel it. Many people, sadly can’t feel it to the depths that others can, given their childhood experiences. They are somewhat shutdown. I have loved the part of my career witnessing people waking up to their hearts, and finding their way to deep love for themselves and others, and often waking up to Love. For me, Love is all encompassing. It is the embrace of the Divine of which we are all part. It is way beyond self and into Authentic Self, or Higher Self which I believe is more connected to the Oneness. When you were saying that the self is compelled to act in compassion, I don’t know that that is true for all. I know it is true for you. You are very compassionate, and compelled to be kind, and to love all beings, human and otherwise, as your self. But in Love, I think, compassion, joy, forgiveness, unconditional love, wisdom and knowing are all a given. There is no “self” motivation. It is all part of the Light of Love so to speak.
      I love you, dear friend. Thank you for your thoughtful, loving words. You, with the great big, beautiful heart.


  8. Thank you Mary, this touched my heart deeply! And the photos are simply gorgeous!! I felt like I was following in your footsteps walking on your beautiful land, witnessing these precious moments of Loving connection. This post felt like a deep warm hug! XOXO
    PS- I will share the link on my Facebook, more people could use this hug from you:)


    • Hi Katrin! Thank you! I’m glad you liked it. Thank you for your sweet, heartfelt words. They feel like a warm hug to me! Thank you for sharing on Facebook too! You coming west next summer maybe? It would be great to see you.
      Happy Festive Season, and thank you so much for your blog too, with your wonderful astrological wisdom.
      Love and warm hug,


  9. the photos are great….but some of your words shatter the air. I am right there with you in many thoughts, but I love this line: “I love my heart. I love that it knows what’s true. I love how quickly it notices when ego is in action and how quickly it can soothe her, and find balance again. Expectations, judgements and attachment to any outcome can still get me in trouble…”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks bf. I’m glad that resonated with you, and happy you liked the photos.
      Seems like you follow your heart in your travels. I enjoy your blog, and look forward to hearing about your upcoming trip!
      When you said “shatter the air,” did you mean the ones you quoted or other parts of the post?


  10. Just beautiful Mary! Your writing and way of thinking are so in line with the path I have following the last couple years. I feel like I am coming home to myself more and more each day and really trying to come from a place of Love in all aspects of my life. ♡


    • That is wonderful Josee! I hope you continue to come home to yourself more and more each day. Coming from a place of Love in all aspects of life is so simple, yet so profound. Not always easy but so worth it. I am happy for you. Thank you so much for coming by and leaving a comment. I appreciate it. Take good care.
      Blessings, Love and Light


  11. What a perfect Post Mary for my returning today, You have encapsulated so many of my own thoughts here within your wise words.. Nature is my first refuge where I retreat to heal and blend within her wonderful balm.. She reflects back to us answers that ease our spirits, as she soothes us through the self doubts that often Ego plays around with..
    Your photo’s are so beautiful, holding together your theme..
    Love is all we can send, Love is what we all came to feel and experience.. And yes I agree, we long ago got so distracted and lost upon our journey..
    But like you dear Mary.. I know more LOVE is now entering our Planet than ever before.. We are the ones we have been waiting for.. YES Miracles abound.. for we create them into being.. We dear Mary with our love and compassion help Heal our world..
    Love is all there is.. and like you said.. Love of ALL, not the possessive or desiring love.. For we are one.. who have forgotten our connectedness ..

    May we all of us follow our hearts dear Mary, and listen well to its beat.. for when more of us become ‘intune’ within, and LOVE our BEing, we then DO make a difference

    Like yourself Mary, I can only change myself… when we all of us look within at our reflections, we then help change our world..

    An Excellent post.. Thank you Mary.. with love and Blessings
    Sue ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Sue! Welcome back! Thank you for taking the time to comment here. Isn’t it amazing feeling the Love build on the planet! A lot of fear building too, but I don’t buy it. For me, when I go to a deeper level, all the little ego-y things that still linger come up to be healed. Maybe collectively as a whole, whatever ego-y things we have lingering as a People, might be coming up before all are awakened. The more Love we can put out there, and the more we heal ourselves, the more healing energy will be out there in the collective. I love what you said, “We are the ones we have been waiting for.” Thank you again, so much Sue. You are a kindred spirit and I love being friends.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I agree Mary, many things have been surfacing for me again these past few weeks, and I see the reason behind them.. Like you say, its all in order of letting them go.. and healing one’s self within which in turn reflects back into the world.. For the world is only the Mirror we project out there.. Sending love your way, and likewise Mary, I am so so pleased our paths crossed 🙂


      • Yes. The mirror is so key in knowing what needs to be healed and let go next. One thing that helps me let go, I’ve noticed, is something Marianne Williamson said about – instead of praying for certain feelings to be released – just let Source know – I am willing for these feelings to change. Then of course similar experiences happen to help you change them which isn’t necessarily fun….but it gets the job done, haha. Have a wonderful day, Sue.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Eddie. So nice to see you here. Thank you for your comment.
      You show your heart on your blog, maybe a little more than you think. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. This is such a wonderful and profound post, Mary! I especially was drawn in by the difference between love and Love, and it reminded me of a book I read, which a friend recommended, “Faith is not a feeling.” I think, for the first time, I understood that after reading the difference between the State of Love and the feeling of love.

    I also ‘remembered’ about things I have thought, but which slip between the cracks of my mind. The part about ego, and the wisdom of Loving it, and that will allow healing to take place, which is still needed.




    • Thank you Fim for such a heartfelt, lovely comment.So nice to see you here.
      I get a little annoyed at the growing cracks in my own mind, that are by now canyons.
      I do think the more we heal ourselves through Love, the better the world will be.
      Blessings to you, dear Fim


  13. Very glad to have found you. I love your photos, the incredible beauty of nature, so peaceful, and your healing words, reminding, remembering how it was when we started out in innocence, children of love, in love with the world of nature, losing ourselves in it’s mystery, returning to that one true state of being all in everything. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Teri. I went to your site and followed you too. Your kinship with Nature shows that you know that childlike place that brings us back to knowingness. The all in everything. Being in love with Nature and the world. Thank you for finding me.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Hi Mary,

    You had me right from the opening paragraph, with your declarations of truth. When I read this, they resounded like bells and I slipped right into a powerful feeling of connection and love, and then from there you offer the heart-opening candor that clearly takes its life from the love you have for your own heart. I think that is such a blessed thing– to be in love with one’s own heart, and all the rest in a way is a reflection of that love.

    It is interesting to reflect on the question you’ve posed about personal love and Love itself, and the ramifications for the world. I’m fairly convinced that the awareness of Love brings about a sweeping change of our perceptions, and that as we experience this together, and witness this in one another, the parameters of our world loosen and unfurl, giving room for deeper, gentler “worlds” in which we come to know ourselves and one another. I also think personal love deepens in this process, and that we perhaps become more capable of recognizing the glory of the persons next to us, and the situations in which we find ourselves. I’m much enamored lately with the idea that our personal love becomes a movement of the universal, but expressed as only we each can individually express it. The personal isn’t lost, but like the many species of our world, become the faces of abundant diversity in loving expression.

    My daily experiences continue to show me where I have preferred personal outcomes or positions not so fully illumined by the universal, and there is Love to be found as well in approaching these vantage points and choosing to undo them, to let them peel away. Your words here inspire and encourage, and I thank you very much for them. Your light shines brightly!


    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Michael, for your very heartfelt and thoughtful comment!
      I’m glad that you feel like personal love deepens in the awareness of Love itself. I do too. Recognizing the glory in the people beside us and also every living being. I love what you said, “The personal isn’t lost, but like the many species of our world, become the faces of abundant diversity in loving expression.”
      Approaching all the little ego residual parts that need healing with Love, I feel, is a gentle way of letting them peel away.
      Your light shines brightly too, my good friend. Thank you.


  15. hello dear Mary – the gorgeous, exquisite photos complement the loving, heartfelt, wise words perfectly.

    wordpress is STILL not sending me mail updates of blogs i subscribe to – hence im a bit behind in reading your wonderful posts. yet, that makes me need to be INTENTIONAL in seeking out blogs. the weird thing is, some comments on blogs come thru in email, but not the notification ( and yes ive checked my notification panel many times)

    but i digress. im so glad i saw came here today.

    love from me in China and about to fly up into the blue heavens and land somewhere sunny and warm. 🙂


    • Thank you, Debbie for your lovely comment.
      Ooooh! Are you going to Australia? Someplace warm sounds nice.
      I don’t know what you mean by notification panel. Is that the list you get when you click on “blogs I follow?” I have a place where I can edit if I want comments and or post notifications by email. Not sure if that’s what you were talking about.
      Anyway, I’m glad you found this, and liked it. Have a wonderful time!!!


  16. I thought this article of yours was beautifully paced and so sensitively couched Mary. You gently invite enquiry through your own deeply insightful and nobly candid reflections, both of which reveal a rare humility and sagacity if I may say so. I rather liked the suggestion that we are holographic in nature, and in fact am currently reading a draft manuscript of a book for a poetess whose text specifically deals with this theme in a fascinating way.

    I cannot really answer your question about the difference between the state of Love and the feeling of love, other than perhaps to suggest that it is easy to conflate sentient feelings with metaphysical abstractions such as Love. I suppose the nearest I might come to a description would be to say Love is a negation of otherness, yet that is to couch the whole in the manner of a ‘via negativa’ – almost a reductionist kind of way, which is less than satisfactory somehow.

    With gratitude and deep respect,



    • Hello Hariod,
      Thank you so much for coming here and leaving such a thoughtful and profound comment. I always enjoy what you say on other’s sites, and consider myself fortunate indeed to see you here today. I went to your site earlier, and followed it, so I look forward to exploring it further.

      I liked what you said about Love being a negation of otherness. By that, do you mean we are all One, so there would be no separation or “other-ness?”

      Thanks again, Hariod for coming by and taking the time to comment.

      Also with gratitude and deep respect,

      Liked by 1 person

      • I too have noticed your own comments Mary, and although I had made a necessary commitment not to subscribe to any more blogs, once I read this piece the little rule book was instantly discarded and I shall find the time to explore your future offerings as frequently as I am able to.

        You pose yet another challenging question, and I shall do my best to respond:

        The concepts of ‘otherness’ and ‘oneness’ are tricky, in the sense of their possibly being misleading; yet still they are useful shorthand for something that evades instantiation in words. By ‘otherness’, I must point to the dichotomy of subject and object that are themselves but mind creations, and the term expressly points to all phenomena that are not thought to be ‘I’ as subject. All of this dualistic division occurs within the mind, and is validated by the very real discreteness (in a sense an ‘otherness’) of material things, which is no illusion. [I am not what I term a Transcendental Idealist.]

        Now, mind occurs in awareness of course; it in fact is awareness itself, and awareness itself is not a localised phenomenon; it is not spatially referenced; it does not exist here or there, and is indivisible – yes? So, the conceptual mind, in its historically evolved state, creates a somewhat spectral or illusory dichotomy as part of and as this awareness. All that it delineates as ‘subject here’ and ‘object there’ – as they are apprehended – are solely representations within the mind. And again, that mind is synonymous with awareness itself (or the illumination of consciousness if you like).

        When you describe those special moments in nature above, and you say “I was inseparable from my surroundings. I would become a flower, a tree, a bird and I would experience the felt sense of Home”, it would appear that you are pointing to what I myself describe altogether more prosaically. I am saying that during that experience, if I understand it correctly, the otherness normally created in the obsessional division into a dichotomy, is entirely absent.

        Consequently, it is as if we can say ‘there is a tree over there’, yet we simultaneously understand that the point of centrality which normally obtains and which creates the ‘over there-ness’, is not existent. The mind and visual senses still reference things spatially, yet no longer as if awareness were somehow channeling the tree to the point of centrality thought of as ‘me the subject’. The awareness knows itself as itself, not as an object (within awareness) perceived by a subject (also within awareness). Again, it is just awareness knowing itself as itself, rather than as an image of or within itself.

        Please bear in mind, Mary, that all this is no more than my particular way of navigating around this paradoxical matter in words, and the whole thing will coalesce conceptually in different ways for yourself and others of course. I sometimes wish I could be more poetic, but have no such capacity unfortunately.


      • Thank you, Hariod. Thank you for throwing the rule book out the window and following me anyway. Makes me smile big.
        Also thank you for such a well thought out answer to my question. I think we are on the same page about it, and you write so well and clearly. You really go into a topic, take it all apart, think on it and put it back together in a way that explains something complicated in a clear way. – or as you said “navigating around this paradoxical matter in words.” I liked what you said, “By ‘otherness’, I must point to the dichotomy of subject and object that are themselves but mind creations. ” and “all of this dualistic division occurs within the mind.”

        Yes, in my experience that I mentioned in Nature – otherness was absent.

        It is all very interesting to me. One thing I have been noticing is that my awareness or mind feels somewhat in the brain, but also in the heart area…a felt sense that doesn’t feel like it comes from brain. I think awareness/mind may be in all our cells and beyond. I read some research…well I don’t know the actual studies, but heard a lecture of someone who said that the electromagnetic field around the heart is up to 5,000 times that of the brain. Interesting theory. It “feels” right to me, though intuitively. But I don’t think you meant awareness being in the brain or even one person. You said it is not spatially referenced. The awareness knows itself as itself, not as an object within awareness. Awareness is indivisible, as the all of everything.

        I am not as clear verbally as you. You have quite a talent for it. I appreciate that you took the time to take my question seriously and to answer it in such a …as I said for your last comment..thoughtful and profound way.

        Thank you again, Hariod for the follow, and I look forward very much to future interaction here in the blogosphere.


        Liked by 1 person

  17. Catching up on posts from when I was away, so glad yours come to my inbox and don’t get lost in the Reader! This is so marvelous and heartfelt, Mary. Your thoughts mirror my own in so many ways… Loving Nature with her many lessons on Wholeness and unconditional Love. Trying to discern and disarm ego, forgiving her her trespasses. I believe Love is the great healer, we just have to believe in It and take the leap of Faith. It will never let us down. Peace and blessings.


  18. Oh how I resonate with this post!!! “Love can never be destroyed…just hidden!” I hid mine so well it has taken a huge amount of time and patience to find it again. Thank you for the beauty that is you…the beauty of your soul. It shines out of your words and into the hearts of all who read here. I know that you have had struggles, as I assume most of us have, but you stand strong in your faith and you work hard to understand. And that is something that shows your character. I am so happy that we have connected here ❤ ❤ ❤


    • Thank you Lorrie. I am very happy we connected too!
      We all have struggles. I don’t feel bad about mine. I am grateful for them because I think that’s why we are here. We grow and heal so much during these events and processes. I believe in pre-life planning, so everything unfolds as it does and it’s all good. Isn’t this blogging community great? So wonderful to exchange ideas and heart. Thank you for your friendship, Lorrie. Feels good. 🙂 ❤


    • Thank you, Julia for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment. I went to your site, and enjoyed reading there. I see that you, too have a deep connection to Source.


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